By Charlie Robinson

Was it Kermit who sang “it aint easy being green”?  Most of the time I would dispute Kermit’s assertion but there are times when things don’t go exactly according to plan.

Here are a random collection of initiatives we have undertaken that have had their ups and downs.

Cider Making
No matter how badly I construct something, I want it to last, just so future archaeologists can marvel at the ineptitude of 21st Century humanity.  A case in point is my cider press.  Cider presses are usually made to withstand a lot of hard work and mine is no exception.  The press was bought locally and is exceedingly heavy with lots of cast iron pieces that wouldn’t seem out of place on a steam engine.  I then proceeded to build an equally massive table to support the press with steel girders for legs and several hardwood planks measuring 200mm X 45mm.  The planks were screwed to the girder supports by 12mm galvanised bolts, the table was then bolted to the concrete floor with eight dynabolts and then the press was secured to the table with even more 12mm bolts.

 

Having perused many books on cider-making I had not seen a more solid construction and I fantasised about the years of cider making in front of me.  I visualised large groups bringing their containers while raw apple juice cascaded into empty vessels to be converted into cider and vinegar.

Yeah, right!  On the day of the first pressing I arranged tables on which the apples would be washed and prepared prior to receiving the attention of the press.  Boxes of pink lady apples waited expectantly in rows waiting for their magical conversion into juice.  Fay and I then chopped the apples into fine pieces, loaded the press as high as we could, and proceeded to turn the large steel arm which compressed specially-cut timber to squash the apples into juice.  We turned and turned until we could compress the apples no further and waited for the juice to flow.

Nothing happened. Rapidly retiring to our library to refer to our various texts on the subject, we discovered we had overlooked one vital step – scratting.  Scratting is not an initiation ceremony for Duntroon cadets but refers to the process of pulping the apples prior to pressing.  In the absence of a suitable scratting machine I commenced to pulverise the apples with a meat tenderiser but this method proved to be disappointing.

Subsequent research has uncovered locally-made scratters, powered by electricity, to retail for around $1700 so the search continues for a more-viable option.  Hopefully I’ll have better news next time.

Produce cellar
When you have the potential to produce literally tonnes of fruit and vegetables over the growing period, you need a suitable space in which to store this bounty.  We have converted a concrete water tank for this purpose but, despite foil and fibreglass insulation and heat-resistant paint, the internal temperature still rises to 29 degrees C when it is 46 degrees C outside.  This is fine for most things but not fruit and vegetables.

An in-ground cellar should maintain a constant year-round temperature of 16 – 17 degrees C which adds significantly to the shelf life of perishable foods.

So, with the naivety of old age (you may describe this as dementia) I commenced construction.  When I say “I”, I mean a massive excavator which tore large chunks out of the ground like a hungry dinosaur.  This machine was filling a large truck every five minutes and, before long, the hole was completed and the reinforced concrete slab was laid.

excavator

I had noticed that the waterproof membrane which was supposed to be laid under the slab (and carried up the sides of the excavation) had been forced under the slab during the pour and this rang alarm bells but it was too late to rectify.  I attempted to circumvent possible ingress of water into the cellar by running a continuous roll of 500mm wide aluminium/bitumen dampcourse around the base of the wall, I added a waterproofing compound to my mortar mix, I also painted the outside face of the wall with bitumen paint, and (finally) clad the entire wall with a double layer of waterproof membrane.  All no good.   After the inside walls were painted, the excavation was backfilled, and the roof was poured, I waited with trepidation for the first rain and (sure enough) there was water on the cellar floor.  Not much, but enough to make me install the shelving on a course of bricks to prevent the timber from rotting.

We will find a solution to both the apple scratting and the wet cellar because problem-solving seems to be the key to succesful self-sufficiency.

Next time, I will relate how we think we have solved the rabbit problem.  Stay tuned.

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